Saturday, December 04, 2004
Week 13
Isn't 13 Kurt Warner's number?
Overall: 89-82-5, I'm the Drew Brees of picks.
Last week: 12-4, second double-digit win in a row. Fate tempted.
Best Bets: 12-9-1, still.
BB Last Week: didn't... shoulda.
Prologue: All this winning the last two weeks (23-8-1 record) is starting to scare me. Right as the steroid scandal breaks (well, if you consider confirmation of the CW 'breaking') my stats start to look all juiced. Well, if it's any consoloation, I can tell you that my testicles are still elephantine. No shrinkage whatsoever. Look elsewhere for your 'roidbot, commissioner. But I would like to continue peeing in a cup, please. There's just something appealing about filling 10 or 12 of those little lab test cups. Sometimes I save them and take them with me out into the country and line them up on a tree stump and blast away with the .410. Good times. But seriously, I'm not sure to do with my new-found football picking success. The distractions of the Thanksgiving holiday (yes, I'm talking about you, turkey jerky) kept me from wagering on any of the games. I'm a big fan of blowing opportunities for profit. But going through the trouble of creating -- God-like, I might add -- this picksheet and then failing to take my own advice is a damn fine illustration of the usefulness of this blog. Maybe blahg is more like it. But I wouldn't go so far as to say my winning of late is a fluke, because a fluke is a fish and my head is above water, swimming against the current, in the ebb and flow of the river of Life. That is just the first of many inspirational holiday messages brought to you by the fine people of BTK, who would like to remind you that dead, stinking fish make a great stocking-stuffer at this time of year. Something about the fish and Jesus and, uh, transubstantiation. That's BTK for you, always thinking something 'kooky.' Hold on, am I still talking about myself? But this is the season for others, like Ray Lewis and Quincy Carter and them Manning Bros. Let us very briefly think of them this time of year.
Texans (+7) vs. Jets:
Picksgiving: Jets
Bengals (+7) vs. Ravens:
Picksgiving: Ravens
Patriots (-10) vs. Browns: Holcomb has made 13 career starts in the NFL, and has suffered broken bones in four of them. In addition to the cracked ribs, he's suffered a broken wrist and two fractured fibulas. But he certainly is tough: He finished all four games.
Picksgiving: Pats
Cardinals (+6) vs. Lions:
Picksgiving: Lions
Titans (+11) vs. Colts:
Picksgiving: Colts
Vikings (-7) vs. Bears:
Picksgiving: Vikes
Bills (-3.5) vs. Dolphins:
Picksgiving: Bills
Falcons (+1.5) vs. Bucs: Favored by 10.5 over the Saints one week and 1.5 underdogs to the Bucs the next week. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Atlanta Falcons. Gamble away.
Picksgiving: Falcons.
49ers (+10.5) vs. Rams:
Picksgiving: Rams
Panthers (+1.5) vs. Saints
Picksgiving: Saints
Chiefs (PK) vs. Raiders:
Picksgiving: Chiefs
Broncos (+3) vs. Chargers: The Bolts rallied to beat the Chiefs at Arrowhead and the Broncos rallied to lose to the Raiders at Mile High. There ya go.
Picksgiving: Chargers.
Giants (+2) vs. Redskins:
Picksgiving: Redskins
Packers (+6) vs. Eagles:
Picksgiving: Packers
Steelers (-3) vs. Jaguars:
Picksgiving: Jaguars
Cowboys (+7) vs. Seahawks:
Picksgiving: Seahawks
Blah.
¶ 3:24 PM
Isn't 13 Kurt Warner's number?
Overall: 89-82-5, I'm the Drew Brees of picks.
Last week: 12-4, second double-digit win in a row. Fate tempted.
Best Bets: 12-9-1, still.
BB Last Week: didn't... shoulda.
Prologue: All this winning the last two weeks (23-8-1 record) is starting to scare me. Right as the steroid scandal breaks (well, if you consider confirmation of the CW 'breaking') my stats start to look all juiced. Well, if it's any consoloation, I can tell you that my testicles are still elephantine. No shrinkage whatsoever. Look elsewhere for your 'roidbot, commissioner. But I would like to continue peeing in a cup, please. There's just something appealing about filling 10 or 12 of those little lab test cups. Sometimes I save them and take them with me out into the country and line them up on a tree stump and blast away with the .410. Good times. But seriously, I'm not sure to do with my new-found football picking success. The distractions of the Thanksgiving holiday (yes, I'm talking about you, turkey jerky) kept me from wagering on any of the games. I'm a big fan of blowing opportunities for profit. But going through the trouble of creating -- God-like, I might add -- this picksheet and then failing to take my own advice is a damn fine illustration of the usefulness of this blog. Maybe blahg is more like it. But I wouldn't go so far as to say my winning of late is a fluke, because a fluke is a fish and my head is above water, swimming against the current, in the ebb and flow of the river of Life. That is just the first of many inspirational holiday messages brought to you by the fine people of BTK, who would like to remind you that dead, stinking fish make a great stocking-stuffer at this time of year. Something about the fish and Jesus and, uh, transubstantiation. That's BTK for you, always thinking something 'kooky.' Hold on, am I still talking about myself? But this is the season for others, like Ray Lewis and Quincy Carter and them Manning Bros. Let us very briefly think of them this time of year.
Texans (+7) vs. Jets:
Picksgiving: Jets
Bengals (+7) vs. Ravens:
Picksgiving: Ravens
Patriots (-10) vs. Browns: Holcomb has made 13 career starts in the NFL, and has suffered broken bones in four of them. In addition to the cracked ribs, he's suffered a broken wrist and two fractured fibulas. But he certainly is tough: He finished all four games.
Picksgiving: Pats
Cardinals (+6) vs. Lions:
Picksgiving: Lions
Titans (+11) vs. Colts:
Picksgiving: Colts
Vikings (-7) vs. Bears:
Picksgiving: Vikes
Bills (-3.5) vs. Dolphins:
Picksgiving: Bills
Falcons (+1.5) vs. Bucs: Favored by 10.5 over the Saints one week and 1.5 underdogs to the Bucs the next week. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Atlanta Falcons. Gamble away.
Picksgiving: Falcons.
49ers (+10.5) vs. Rams:
Picksgiving: Rams
Panthers (+1.5) vs. Saints
Picksgiving: Saints
Chiefs (PK) vs. Raiders:
Picksgiving: Chiefs
Broncos (+3) vs. Chargers: The Bolts rallied to beat the Chiefs at Arrowhead and the Broncos rallied to lose to the Raiders at Mile High. There ya go.
Picksgiving: Chargers.
Giants (+2) vs. Redskins:
Picksgiving: Redskins
Packers (+6) vs. Eagles:
Picksgiving: Packers
Steelers (-3) vs. Jaguars:
Picksgiving: Jaguars
Cowboys (+7) vs. Seahawks:
Picksgiving: Seahawks
Blah.
¶ 3:24 PM
